Discomfort is Where Growth Happens
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No matter how strong and open-minded I think I am, change and the hard work it brings make me uncomfortable. A couple of years ago, I was told that in addition to my two current courses, I would be teaching two sections of Sophomore Honors English.
I wasn’t too jazzed about it.
The truth is, I’d gotten comfortable. Maybe too comfortable. After all, I could teach Macbeth in my sleep but would now have to learn to teach Othello too. Grumble, grumble.
Though this new schedule upset my personal apple cart, it was really good for me.
An amazing thing happened despite the increased workload. Interacting with honors students challenged me in my writing instruction. This helped make me a better writer in my personal life.
An unwelcome and uncomfortable change forced me to level up both personally and professionally.
Once I was on the other side of the discomfort, I gained clarity. The status quo is comfortable, but that isn’t where growth happens. Of course, I know this firsthand from many experiences in my life. But it seems to be a lesson I have to relearn on occasion.
No grit, no growth
Discomfort and unfinished work are familiar bedfellows in my world. I’m ashamed to admit I have started four different novel manuscripts since 2018 and have not finished a single one of them. I recently had the audacity to start a fifth! Why? Because starting is so much easier than finishing.
Certainly I could blame this on being a full-time working mom. I could point fingers at the brainfog of midlife. Or I could pin it on the suspected ADHD I still haven't gotten around to being tested for. Fear of being labeled an impostor or an awful writer hold me back too.
There are plenty of scapegoats in my arsenal.
The hard truth? I don’t like when things don’t come easily to me. Writing a poem or Substack post are way more gratifying than strapping myself to the writing chair and wrestling through the muddy middle of an unfinished novel.
However, I recently had an unpleasant epiphany. It has been nearly ten years since I had a running injury that led me back to writing. It’s been nearly seven years since I started my first novel manuscript. I am smack in the middle of my own way, sitting in a metaphorical parked car.
I’ve gone to a number of writers’ conferences and read books on craft and structure and all that sort. It’s not more information I need—it’s more motivation and dedication.
I’ve been dragging my feet because I, like the oyster, don’t like a speck of uncomfortable grit. The oyster though, eventually embraces it and forms a pearl.
Pearls don’t form quickly. They can take up to seven years in some cases. Yet the oyster’s discomfort eventually wanes, and the forming continues. A thing of beauty emerges at the end.
My grit takes the form of unfinished work and the unrealized dream of publishing a book. This summer will prove less hectic than usual, so I’ll lean into the discomfort and make headway on one of these manuscripts. Time to get out of my own way.
Leaning in to discomfort
When we’re faced with something we view as difficult or overwhelming, bracing ourselves and facing it develops us in ways that fear and avoidance never could. By stepping away from the comfort zone, we develop strength.
This doesn’t mean it will be easy or without moments of failure or discouragement. We may foul things up, but failings can inform another try. The emotional rigmarole a dreaded discomfort brings helps us learn how cope and even thrive. despite our discomfort.
Discomfort doesn’t have to be endured in isolation. Seeking wise counsel from friends, family, or colleagues can provide us with insight beyond our ability to see. Those who have done what we haven’t yet are excellent resources. Tap into them.
Other times, we must go it alone. Facing a challenge by ourselves produces a special kind of strength. Digging deep hurts, yet it bears beautiful fruit. Satisfaction at having done the hard thing is sweet indeed.
Let’s greet discomfort like the oyster and stay the course until we see the pearl.
Community Garden
Join in the conversation by leaving a comment. Let’s get to know one another better as we continue on the writer’s journey.
What’s your current difficult-to-proceed project?
How has leaning into discomfort helped you in the past?
Finishing is hard. It struck me as I read this, though, that if you had simply kept writing one of those manuscripts, you'd be done with possibly several by now. (You know I have to give you a hard time. 😘) Your time will come and then BOOM you'll have several completed projects! I know they're all going to be amazing. ❤️
We are of like mind. I love this article. I just posted an article called Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable. You are so right - we need to lean into it to grow.